I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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