I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
