Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
