Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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