just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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