ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Randomize
