Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
