just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
