Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Randomize
