even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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