please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
