I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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