Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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