just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
wow bdsm is so cute
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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