This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
