Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
