A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I need moral support for this bender
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
