they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
