id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We need to get me chipped asap
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
