just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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