I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
