her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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