using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
