I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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