She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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