Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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