It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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