So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
