I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
