Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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