just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
