Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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