FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
