I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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