my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
