I feel like abortions should bother me more
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
