One girl and one boy is just not enough.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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