he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
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You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
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GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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