Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I believe in your delicious
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Randomize
