Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
