I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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