Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The feeling are messing with the penis
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
