my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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