coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
