Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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