you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
