I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
