I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
