Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
