I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
