okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize