WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
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my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
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you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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