Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
