who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
