but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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