***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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