I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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