WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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