That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.