Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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