Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
