this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
