I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I would fuck him just for his dog
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
we should paint friendship bongs
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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