She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Randomize
