Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
