And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
