My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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