I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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